INSIDE THE BENGALS

Nobody had a better spot to watch the 2001 Bengals season unfold than quarterback Scott Mitchell, who narrowly missed winning the starting job in training camp. The 12th-year NFL veteran compiled a weekly diary with The Enquirer. A 1990 fourth-round pick by Miami out of the University of Utah, Mitchell played with the Dolphins, Detroit and Baltimore before spending the last two seasons with Cincinnati. After starting five games in 2000, he played just one half in 2001. His best season was 1995, when he threw for 4,338 yards and 32 touchdowns for the Lions.

        I want to tell people what it's like to play a season in the NFL, to play quarterback and to play for the Bengals.

        AUG. 22

        I re-signed with the Bengals because I was told I would get a chance to be the starter. I could have signed a two-year deal with the Steelers, but it would have been just to be the backup to Kordell Stewart.

        Part of finishing my career out the right way is to win. I'm very comfortable in my life. I love where I live and what I do. I don't need a lot of things. I've had a membership at a beautiful golf club. I've owned an airplane. I had a beautiful cabin in the mountains in Utah. I had all these things, and they didn't make me happy. I don't play just to make money. I've had the fancy, expensive car. I bought a Mercedes. I made it in this league, but I didn't want the car to be the prize. The fact I've made it 12 years in this league means more to me.

        There's really no pressure on me, just what I put on myself. They gave Jon Kitna $4 million to sign. They gave Akili Smith $11 million. My whole salary is $800,000. I go under the radar with a lot of things here. I'm not really the focus of what's going on.

        AUG. 27

        (Head coach) Dick LeBeau came into our quarterback meeting today and said, “It was a real tough decision, and I've decided to go with Jon. That doesn't mean you're not going to play, Scott and Akili, but it doesn't mean you have to be looking over your shoulder, Jon. I want a situation where the bottom line is, we win.”

        I believe that. But that doesn't make it any easier. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Dick LeBeau. I respect him a lot. I know Dick LeBeau fought for me to be here.

        It wasn't like I had a whole lot of time to think about Dick's decision. By practicing hard, it kind of takes away your feeling sorry for yourself. When I was in Detroit and got benched, I felt a whole rainbow of emotions. I felt like I got screwed, I was mad, I didn't care if I played football again.

        I'm not going to be a distraction, but I really felt like I would be doing my own self an injustice if I didn't say, “You know, this really hurts.” I really worked hard, and this really meant something to me. I played last year, and I went through the rough part. I'm a Cincinnati Bengal. And I hear what people say on TV, and I know what the perception is of this team. And I was in there when it wasn't pleasant. I was in there trying to correct the situation.

        I am disappointed because I wanted to build on what we had started at the end of last year and knew I could. Not a lot of people want to be a Cincinnati Bengal, and here I was wanting to do it for all the right reasons.

Scott Mitchell during practice at Paul Bown Stadium. (Michael E. Keating photo) | ZOOM |

        SEPT. 5

        I got my ankle rolled on, on the last play of the Colts preseason game. They said I would be out four to eight weeks. I didn't think it was that bad. I didn't feel a lot of initial pain. I've had broken bones. My tolerance for pain is pretty high. I was like, “I'm going to be back in a week and be ready to play in the opener.” It was almost a little easier to take Dick's decision to start Jon because I was hurt.

        SEPT. 12

        I was in getting treatment yesterday when the terrorist attacks happened. That's unbelievable. I wonder what I would feel like in that situation. I have a private pilot's license. There's no way a pilot is going to fly a plane into a building. I don't think they realized they were going to be run into a building.

        I've thought about it all day. I was kind of glad I could go out and practice. It really got my mind off it. But if I have a free minute, I'm in the equipment room watching it. I watched it all last night. I was up at 5:30 this morning, and I had it right on.

        We're out at practice. And everybody's talking about that.

        It's, “What would you do on the airplane?”

        “We got to get those guys.”

        Oh, yeah, we won our opener over New England.

        I was the third quarterback. Could I have gone in? Sure. My ankle wasn't 100 percent. It's hard to feel a part of the team when you don't play. You still have to do your part, which isn't much. It's such a great feeling when you win, but it's like one step above being a fan in the stands.

        You don't want to be selfish. It's not just about you. You feel that way when you're injured. It's like they dump you off, and the train goes on. But it can't be any other way.

        SEPT. 19

        We had the weekend off because of the games being called off. Everything that's going on made me think of being in Miami when Hurricane Andrew came through (1992).

        It was so amazing the spirit within people to help. My church, I'm Mormon, we had two semi-tractor trucks en route as the hurricane was going on. They told us to come to church dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. It was this command post. “Here are the addresses, here are the people, here's what they need, now go.” And that's what you did, patch roofs, whatever. You're kind of doing something that draws you together.

        SEPT. 26

        Playing Baltimore again makes me think about the year I spent there. It was 1999. Brian Billick pulled me after two games. He jumped the gun.

        It was the pivotal time for me. It was the second time in two years I got benched. I couldn't take any more. I was in the ER, on the table and ready to give up the ghost. My agent (Anthony Agnone), said, “You have too much left, but you're at a point where you're going to have to show up earlier and stay later, anything you have to do to get an edge.” That's when I started running extra after every play, training harder.

        The way to beat the Ravens, and the way we beat them, is the way to beat the San Diego Chargers. Baltimore will give you a big play because they are aggressive. It's the same way this week.

        Jon's done a good job of not doing too much. Even stuff that's kind of close to being there, he's not forcing. There will come a point where we have to get more aggressive, but he's done a good job.

        LeBeau is really honest. He's saying, “We've really come a long way. It's one year later from when we played Baltimore and lost 37-0.” I've been on teams that have made the playoffs and aren't as talented as this one, easily.

        OCT. 3

        Jon threw three interceptions, and we lost at San Diego.

        I knew right there, even though he'd already thrown a couple of interceptions, I probably wasn't going to go in. They'll be patient. But Dick had said, “If Jon's having a bad day, I'll try somebody else. I'm not going to wait forever to make a move.”

        What stinks as a backup is, you kind of go through the pregame jitters through the whole game. You know you could go into the game at any play.

        OCT. 10

        I came in Tuesday, the players' day off, like I usually do. I watched some film. I was going to work out. Instead, I went home. I was thinking, I'm really sick of this. I don't want to do this anymore. It's so hard to sit there and watch all this. It's almost not worth it.

        I did not want to go in early this morning. I got in here, and I just knew if I didn't have the right kind of attitude, I wouldn't get through the day. I came in and got my game plan — they didn't fax it to me last night, which they usually do — but after I worked out, I felt pretty good.

        The coaches say the receivers screwed up on the routes in Pittsburgh. They're really on the receivers now. Jon gets a lot of breaks. I think it's dangerous. I see a lot of things from the standpoint of him being kind of untouchable. They're on their honeymoon with Jon. It's really why I want to retire. I feel so like I'm handcuffed. I know how I would handle it. And I know the guys would respond to me if I were in there.

        OCT. 17
        We still have 11 games left. I think there will be a time I get in there and play. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever catch a break.

        I'm really into it, though. I really study hard and work hard, and there was a situation in the game, where we had a third-and-4, Cleveland called time out, Jon came over and I said, “We should run Four Belly Pitch Left,” and Jon goes, “Yeah, that's a good play.” It's the one where you fake the dive into the line and pitch it outside to the running back. Brandon Bennett was in, and he got the first down. Somehow, it ended up that it was Akili's idea. He had mentioned it early in the game, but it was one of those things when people take credit for an idea that wasn't theirs.

        OCT. 24

        The Detroit writers asked for me today on the conference call, which is unusual for a backup. They asked me about the preseason game and how badly I was booed.

        I told them I feel very good that I went into a hostile environment, that I focused really well.

        I chose to point out the things that were positive about my experience there. I didn't get into the things about Bobby Ross, my old coach. They didn't really press it. I did say, “Look, I kind of moved on, I don't sit here every day and dwell on Detroit.”

        They asked me if I was content with my situation now. I said, “No. I don't know if I could play anymore if I was content being a backup.”

        OCT. 31

        I really wanted to play in Detroit. We should have never let them back into the game. But Jon and the offense did a good job on the last drive to win the game.

        Detroit brings back a lot of memories, good and bad. I was there for five years. When I got introduced there at home games, I got booed. I couldn't go out anywhere. I was at a Pistons basketball game once, they showed me on the video screen and I got booed. If I was a bum and we never won and I wasn't a productive player, that would be one thing, but I was a good player. The main reason was, I was the first (big-money) guy in free agency.

        NOV. 7

        We loaded up the car and drove home (Windermere, Fla.) for the bye weekend. My wife and daughter are going to stay down there. We just built our house. We just had a baby. There will be more for her to do in Florida. I'll go home on my off day.

        NOV. 14

        We should have won at Jacksonville. These people are fooling themselves if they keep putting too many plays in and expect us to get it all.

        Most of the wide receivers have never played football where their minds have been challenged. It's always been physical. It's not like these guys can't understand it — most of them just haven't been challenged intellectually in this game.

        If I were playing, I would spend a lot of time talking to these guys telling them what I wanted to do. I wouldn't leave any gray area. Darnay Scott and I would do well enough together, because he has a feel, he understands. I think I could get a lot out of Peter Warrick, though he is still learning a lot of stuff. The best way to prepare yourself to play is to try to simplify the game as much as you can in your mind.

        We're just a young team trying to figure it out. You look at Tennessee, and for so many years, they're 8-8, 8-8, 8-8, and all of a sudden they figure out how to win. Then they start going 13-3, 13-3. They start to learn when they have to push the panic button, or when not to panic because they're down a couple of scores, or how to step on somebody when they've got them down.

        NOV. 21

        I've been thinking a lot about how you have to simplify the game in your mind. There's almost too much information in our game plan. So much of it is irrelevant. When we came in for our game plan when I was with Miami, they knew the kind of information we needed to be successful that week. If the key was being able to chip (defensive end) Bruce Smith, we were going to design everything toward that. They would take the offense and modify what we did to fit him.

        When I was in there in the preseason, I felt really comfortable with how offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski was calling the game. And he was receptive to good information. But there's a distance there that's hard to read. I haven't totally figured him out. He can be really quiet. I would have liked to run his offense for a whole season.

        NOV. 28

        Every week, I expect to play, but I was surprised when they put me in against the Browns. I remember saying to myself, “Take one play at a time, don't try to do too much, just run the offense.”

        There were some plays I didn't totally feel comfortable with when Bob called them. The first drive or so, nothing was happening, and I thought, They're depending on me to make a play, light a spark, but I forced some throws, took some unnecessary risks. I took on the demeanor of our team, as opposed to the team taking on my demeanor. I was put in the game to light a spark because nothing was getting done. I just didn't get it done. I threw three interceptions. I haven't played in a game since August, but I expected it of myself to go in and play well.

        On Monday, I told Bob, “I did a poor job communicating to you what I wanted to do when I went in the game.”

        You know why our offense isn't very good? There's no expectation. There's no accountability. You can rip on the team in the newspaper, and you get promoted.

        I say that because there are guys who are playing who have no business being on the field right now. They're being given an opportunity because they have potential. The cart is before the oxen, and no one's held accountable, except me, it seems.

        There is no way in the world Akili can handle everything the quarterback is expected to do. He might be OK if they water it down for him. But if they put it on him the way they put it on Jon, he'll struggle. What really burns me, almost to the point where I can't see straight, is, here a guy comes in, he's always ripping on his teammates, it's always somebody else's fault, he's never the problem, he always complains and he's promoted.

        I went into Dick's office Monday, and I was so upset about the game. He said, “Have you ever thrown three interceptions in a game before?” I said, “Yeah, I've thrown three in a half and ended up winning the game. I know my role, and I want to fulfill my role on this team, and I didn't do it yesterday.”

        I mean, I was almost in tears. I was really upset. And he's like, “Go home, go see your wife.”

        I come in this morning (Wednesday), and he said he wanted to see me in his office. He didn't do this when he started me, so I walked in his door thinking, He's going to put Akili in as No. 2. And he did.

        He said he was going to tell me Monday, but he didn't have the heart. That was pretty human of him.

        What keeps me going is, I'm too bullheaded to stop. When I walked out of Dick's office this morning, I said to myself, “This is it. I just can't take it.”

        My wife, Wendy, is supportive of what I have to do, but she said, “Why do all these little things (staying late) if they go unnoticed?” But I can't change things. If I change my habits, it says they're right. Regardless of what the situation is, I'm going to finish this thing off right.

        Because of how I've been treated — and I think I've been treated pretty poorly — it's going to take something short of an act of God for me to be back here next year.

        DEC. 5

        We lost another game we should have won, to Tampa Bay, in overtime. This game brought back all those feelings of frustration and helplessness I felt when I was in Detroit and Baltimore and sat on the bench.

        The worst thing that happened to us was starting 2-0. It said everything that wasn't OK, was OK. The problem here is, there is no accountability to anything. It's like, if you do your job, you work hard, you're prepared, it doesn't mean squat.

        A really good example is Danny Farmer. If I was playing, I'd want that guy in there all the time. I know he's going to be where he's supposed to be, and I know he's going to make plays. They should be gloating over him.

        I went back home to Florida for a quick visit and brought back all my fly-tying stuff (for fly fishing) and have it in my apartment. It's how I keep from going crazy. I'm not going to cut down on how I prepare for football, but I'm just so upset and it's hard to say I want to go and win for these people. I do my work and my job and what I'm supposed to do. My teammates have talked to me. They've seen the injustice.

        DEC. 12

        I went to this doctor when I was married the first time, and I talked about growing up and how there was a huge (imaginary) elephant in our living room, and the way we dealt with that was living around it. Nobody wanted to talk about the elephant in the living room. It was like it wasn't there. That was how my family dealt with certain issues. If we had just sat down and talked about a few things, we would have found out that the elephant was not that big of a deal. But it became a big deal because it was allowed to just be there.

        That's how I feel about this organization. There is something fundamentally wrong here. There are no standards. Everybody wants to to say we're almost there, if we had just made a couple of plays here and there.

        It's pretty obvious to me that when we haven't gone to the playoffs for 10 years, there's an elephant here, and it's probably not even that big a thing. But nobody will address it.

        We have a quarterbacks dinner Friday with Bob and his wife, Akili, Kenny (Anderson, quarterbacks coach) and his wife, Jon, and me. There's an undercurrent of tension that's a result of insecurity. There are a lot of different agendas on our coaching staff. You have guys who are just going to do what they have to do to keep their jobs. And then there are guys who want to be the best coach in the world.

        After I signed, I told Bob, “You've got a system that's brand new, and you've got coaches who are out scouting and you're going to have coaches teaching players a system they don't know very well themselves. It's not going to happen. That's why having a veteran guy at quarterback is going to help you.”

        DEC. 20
        Yesterday, I was getting a lot of snaps in practice. I was throwing a ball and was in my follow-through, and my ribs on my right side just felt like they snapped. Today, I can't even take a deep breath.

        There was a good possibility of me starting against Baltimore. The offense has been struggling, and Jon has a bad finger. But this incentive thing, where he's supposed to get, what, $1 million more for playing 80 percent of the snaps? If I played because they felt it would give us the best chance to win, I would be OK. But if they played me just so he didn't get the bonus, that would have really bothered me.

        And it would have bothered me, too, because this is the guy whose basket you put all your eggs into this year. I would have killed for people to stick with me and give me that kind of opportunity. We're 4-10. Our offense is the worst in the league in scoring. It's easy to sit here and say I would have done a better job with it, but still I know we wouldn't be any worse off than we are now, and there was a lot of potential to be a whole lot better off. I know I can get this team to the playoffs.

        DEC. 26

        I know when I'm healthy, I'm very productive. Look at my record. Then I think maybe I'm going through all this stuff for a reason I can't even understand yet. Maybe this will help me deal with something later on in my life. I think that a lot. Then I think maybe I'm so stubborn and bullheaded, and maybe it's just time for me to be done and I should walk away. I don't feel that way, but it does enter my mind. I know there's a lot left.

        JAN. 2

        Today is my 34th birthday. I've been promoted back to No. 2 quarterback because I'm healthy and Akili's out.

        One of the high points of my season came Sunday, when Jon had the big passing game (411 yards) and we beat the Steelers.

        It's not like you had all these trick plays. We just executed the offense we've had since minicamp. We ran plays we had a lot of familiarity with. People think you've got to come up with all this stuff. You really don't. You have to understand what you do and execute it.

        The high point of my season came when they asked me if I wanted to go on IR (injured reserve) because of my ribs, and I told them, “No.” I could have said, “I'm outta here. There's no way I'm staying after what I've been through.” There were three weeks left, and I could have been home for the holidays.

        But I stayed. I had to. It was all about finishing things the right way. It's like Jon said to me one day when we were sitting at our lockers, “If I were you, I would have been so retired by now and so in Florida and playing golf.” But I stayed. I had to. It was all about finishing things the right way.

        Jon and I ended up getting along real well. It was hard when I wanted that job and still feel I would have done a better job than he did. You really have to swallow your pride and accept your role and support the starter 100 percent. You've got to try to help him out with information by watching the game closely and talking about situations and the defense. Even when Akili was starting, I supported him 100 percent.

        Jon told me, “I'd never had made it through the season if you weren't here.”

        JAN. 9

        If you look at the offense at the end of the year, I don't think we tried to force the run as much as we did earlier. We weren't afraid to throw the ball on any down, including third and short. It creates an attack mentality. You're not timid.

        No matter when it ends, there's always this feeling, this melancholy feeling, of an end, whether you've watched a really good movie, or been on a really good vacation, or the end of high school.

        We shouldn't be done. We should be getting ready for the playoffs. There's too much “playing for a paycheck” here. It's like, “Are you playing for a paycheck, or is it because of the situation, are you forced to play for one?”

        I talked to Corey Dillon a couple days before the last game. I told him, “I don't care what anybody else says, you are the guy on this team. You are the marquee player. It's got to be one guy, one individual, who says, "What's going on with the offense is unacceptable.' There are guys who don't practice all the time. You don't want to do it alone. You need at least one other guy to stand up with you.” I ended up telling Lorenzo Neal the same thing. Maybe it can be those two guys who start it.

        I told Corey, “You've got to be the guys who set the example, who put out the effort and call out the guys who aren't. That's how you'll weed out the guys who don't. It has to come internally from players to change things.

        Part of me would like to come back because I feel I have unfinished business. I choose to play this game the right way, whether I'm a starter or a backup. Dick said, “Look, you're at a point in your career where you're not going to get a whole lot of opportunities. You just got to go in and make it work with whatever you've got.”

        That's extremely difficult and extremely unfair, but it's extremely the reality.

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